Bear with me on this story… it starts out like Just Another Golf Story by Just Another Middle-Aged Guy. But there's actually a non-golf point to be made.
Recently I've been taking lessons at GolfTec (if you love golf and love technology, you should go check them out). The instructor, Tim, has gradually been helping me fix one thing at a time in my swing and after several lessons it is starting to come together. This weekend, I came home from my lesson all enthused because my club-head speed had gone from 85 MPH to 100+ MPH. If you aren't a golfer, trust me when I say this a good thing. I won't bore you with the details of what he changed except to say that he got me to throw my heart into the swing and really follow through. Bruce Lee made a similar point when he said that you must strike with "emotional content".
As I was describing this change to my wife, she asked one deceptively simple question - "Why did you learn the original bad habit in the first place?" That is, why was I holding back and putting the brakes on my swing? I have been a Bad Golfer for such a long time, it took some effort to think back that far but I finally managed it.
The first few times I hit a golf ball, the ball didn't do quite what I wanted. That is to say, it went in random and unpredictable directions. Rather than taking lessons and fixing the underlying problem, I just made it worse. Because I didn't have any confidence in where the ball was going, I started to hold back a bit. To be tentative.
But as my instructor in kempo-karate says, "If you're going to play the game, play it all out."
Without doubt, there are times to be conservative and to hold a little bit back in reserve. But there are also times when that doesn't cut the mustard. There are times when you need to jump in with both feet. Whether you are opening a new business, falling in love or learning to sky-dive, you need to put your whole heart into it.
Is there anything you are doing in your life where you are holding yourself back? Is there anything where you could be more successful if you took the parking brake off? Think about it and let me know.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Don't Be Afraid to be a Salesman
During his presidency, George W. Bush encouraged people to help strengthen our economy by going shopping. When I heard this, I knew it didn't sound right to me. There was the germ of an idea in there but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Recently it came together for me.
It isn't about how much we buy, it's about how much we sell. And I don't mean how much junk we sell or how many people we can con into buying an overpriced good or service. When a person can sell something that legitimately solves another person's problem or need, then he raises the standard of living for both of them. And when that happens, our economy grows.
On the other hand, if someone sells a shoddy piece of merchandise or a service that doesn't really solve the buyer's problem, then not only was nothing gained but something was lost. Yes, money changed hands and one party came out ahead but the original need stays unfulfilled. So the standard of living for the buyer did not improve. He or she is not only out money but still has the original need.
A good salesman is an educator. He or she helps a person identify the real underlying need and educates them as to the range of solutions that are available to them. If I go into the hardware store asking for a mop to clean up a water leak, an average salesperson will sell me a mop. A good one will help me figure out the cause of the leak and will sell me the tools and material that I can use to fix it. The first one made a sell but the second one solved my problem and raised the standard of living for both of us.
So while President Bush may have had the right idea, he came at it from the wrong angle. Do you want to help get the economy back on track? Then find someone with a problem and help them solve it. Sell them a product or service that addresses their need. Then help them find their next problem and solve that one too. If enough people become problem-solvers, making an honest profit for helping others, our economy will make a huge turn-around.
It isn't about how much we buy, it's about how much we sell. And I don't mean how much junk we sell or how many people we can con into buying an overpriced good or service. When a person can sell something that legitimately solves another person's problem or need, then he raises the standard of living for both of them. And when that happens, our economy grows.
On the other hand, if someone sells a shoddy piece of merchandise or a service that doesn't really solve the buyer's problem, then not only was nothing gained but something was lost. Yes, money changed hands and one party came out ahead but the original need stays unfulfilled. So the standard of living for the buyer did not improve. He or she is not only out money but still has the original need.
A good salesman is an educator. He or she helps a person identify the real underlying need and educates them as to the range of solutions that are available to them. If I go into the hardware store asking for a mop to clean up a water leak, an average salesperson will sell me a mop. A good one will help me figure out the cause of the leak and will sell me the tools and material that I can use to fix it. The first one made a sell but the second one solved my problem and raised the standard of living for both of us.
So while President Bush may have had the right idea, he came at it from the wrong angle. Do you want to help get the economy back on track? Then find someone with a problem and help them solve it. Sell them a product or service that addresses their need. Then help them find their next problem and solve that one too. If enough people become problem-solvers, making an honest profit for helping others, our economy will make a huge turn-around.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Public speaking make you nervous?
How do you feel when you have to speak in front of a group? Are you nervous? Join the club… it has been said that public speaking is one of the greatest fears that people have. When put into that situation, many people get nervous, tongue-tied and start stammering. For the longest time, I would beat myself up if I spoke in front of people and didn't do as well as I thought I should have. If I didn't come across as a marvelous orator, I would feel embarrassed and like I had failed. Then I had a change of heart.
What I realized is that on some days, I will be able to speak eloquently, with a captivating narrative and with the ability to communicate the subtlest of points with ease. And on some days, I'm barely able to state my name and address! But every time I talk to a group, I follow this simple rule I learned from one of my mentors - "Speak from the heart, tell the truth and you can never go wrong". So when I speak in front of people nowadays, my only measure of success is "Did I speak from the heart about something I think is important?" If the answer is yes, then I was successful.
Sure, on some days my words may flow more naturally than on other days. But you know what? Even on my off days, the audience can usually figure out what I'm trying to say. And since they are more focused on the message than on the words, everything works out in the end. As a result, I now truly enjoy speaking in front of people.
If you have a fear of public speaking and this helps you deal with it better, send me a note and let me know. I always enjoy hearing about people's successes.
What I realized is that on some days, I will be able to speak eloquently, with a captivating narrative and with the ability to communicate the subtlest of points with ease. And on some days, I'm barely able to state my name and address! But every time I talk to a group, I follow this simple rule I learned from one of my mentors - "Speak from the heart, tell the truth and you can never go wrong". So when I speak in front of people nowadays, my only measure of success is "Did I speak from the heart about something I think is important?" If the answer is yes, then I was successful.
Sure, on some days my words may flow more naturally than on other days. But you know what? Even on my off days, the audience can usually figure out what I'm trying to say. And since they are more focused on the message than on the words, everything works out in the end. As a result, I now truly enjoy speaking in front of people.
If you have a fear of public speaking and this helps you deal with it better, send me a note and let me know. I always enjoy hearing about people's successes.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Are You Honest With Yourself?
In our kempo-karate class, the Word of the Week recently was "Honesty". Normally, we talk about honesty as it relates to other people: Don't lie. Tell the Truth. Good lessons, but there's another part to it.
Are you being honest with yourself? When it comes to the things you do, do you give them your best effort? In karate, that means "Are you training hard so that you will really deserve that next belt?" In the workplace - "Did you give that task your best effort?" Around the house - "Do you do chores that need doing, without being told to or expecting credit?"
Did you ever turn a blind eye to some annoying chore, hoping that someone else will see it and do it first? If so, then clearly you are doing that other person a disservice. But even worse, you aren't being honest with yourself. Because I'm pretty sure if someone asked if you are kind, considerate and helpful, you would probably sprain your neck nodding your head yes! You would probably even believe it.
If you are honest with yourself, there will be times you don't like what you see. That's okay. In fact, it is a good thing.
Are you being honest with yourself? When it comes to the things you do, do you give them your best effort? In karate, that means "Are you training hard so that you will really deserve that next belt?" In the workplace - "Did you give that task your best effort?" Around the house - "Do you do chores that need doing, without being told to or expecting credit?"
Did you ever turn a blind eye to some annoying chore, hoping that someone else will see it and do it first? If so, then clearly you are doing that other person a disservice. But even worse, you aren't being honest with yourself. Because I'm pretty sure if someone asked if you are kind, considerate and helpful, you would probably sprain your neck nodding your head yes! You would probably even believe it.
If you are honest with yourself, there will be times you don't like what you see. That's okay. In fact, it is a good thing.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Student Creeds of Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association
The following creeds are known to all students of Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association and are the perfect building blocks for controlling your life.
Student Creed 1 - I intend to develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth or physical health.
Student Creed 2 - I intend to develop self-discipline in order to bring out the best in myself and others.
Student Creed 3 - I intend to use the skills I learn in class constructively and defensively to help myself and my fellow man and never be abusive or offensive.
To learn more about how Universal Kempo Karate Schools can help you control your life visit Facebook at www.facebook.com/ukksafrontier or www.coskarate.com and set up a free introductory appointment.
Student Creed 1 - I intend to develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth or physical health.
Student Creed 2 - I intend to develop self-discipline in order to bring out the best in myself and others.
Student Creed 3 - I intend to use the skills I learn in class constructively and defensively to help myself and my fellow man and never be abusive or offensive.
To learn more about how Universal Kempo Karate Schools can help you control your life visit Facebook at www.facebook.com/ukksafrontier or www.coskarate.com and set up a free introductory appointment.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Slow Dance
The following poem was shared in our Adult Karate class by a junior student. It is one that moved her and she wanted to share her emotional connection with others. It moved us as well so we wanted to share it with as many others as possible.
Part of taking control of your life is about opening yourself up to emotional attachments and letting beautiful words speak to you.
Here is Slow Dance.
Slow Dance
by
David L. Weatherford
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Do you run through each day on the fly
When you ask "How are you?" do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
Part of taking control of your life is about opening yourself up to emotional attachments and letting beautiful words speak to you.
Here is Slow Dance.
Slow Dance
by
David L. Weatherford
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Do you run through each day on the fly
When you ask "How are you?" do you hear the reply?
When the day is done, do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
Universal Kempo Karate Schools Big Show
One of the many ways you can control your life is by joining with others who have similar goals and sharing your life with them. Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association is a great place to build positive relationships, learn self-defense, build moral character and stay in good physical condition; all things that go into taking control of your life.
Please enjoy this short clip from our bi-ennial Big Show. You will see hundreds of future Black Belts showing you how they focus and control their own lives and are building a brighter future for themselves.
Success in the martial arts helps build the character and discipline that can lead to success in all other aspects of your life.
Call 282-6885 to ask about a free introductory lesson! Or visit www.coskarate.com
Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association at Frontier Elementary in north Colorado Springs offers a fun safe environment for children and adults to learn the art of self defense and promote physical fitness and confidence that will last a lifetime.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Take Control Lesson 6: Are you rudderless?
Lesson 6
A life without goals is like sailing a ship without a rudder.
You may see some interesting sights but the choice wasn't yours.
What are your goals? Amazingly enough, most people can't answer this simple question. If pressed, they'll come up with generalities like "To be happy" or "To be a better person" but very few people can express specific, measurable long-term or short-term goals. As a result, they lead their lives on auto-pilot.
Get up. Go to work. Come home. Eat dinner. Watch TV. Go to bed. Repeat.
But we were put on this earth not just to survive but to thrive. And I truly believe that setting goals is the best, most assured way to take control of your life and be happy.
Understand that a goal is different from a resolution. A resolution is often meant to correct a negative – lose weight, quit smoking, etc. These are fine efforts in themselves but they are not positive, constructive goals. A goal should be something that adds value to your life or the lives of those around you. Getting a degree, raising money for charity, learning a new language… the list goes on and on.
You should start small but you should start. Read a book on goal setting (I recommend the author Brian Tracy but there are many others to choose from). Set a goal, work on it and check it off your list. You'll be amazed at how satisfying that will be and how much control it adds to your life.
Senior Head Instructor Brad Mears
Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association
at Frontier Elementary in Colorado Springs, CO
www.COSKarate.com
Take Control Lesson 5: You influence others through more than your words
Lesson 5
You cannot control someone else's life but you can and do influence them every time you are together.
This influence will either be positive or negative and will come back to you eventually.
You are a person of influence with everyone you meet. Your words, behavior, actions and attitude influence how they feel about you. And how they feel about you drives how they respond to you. Influence them in a negative way and they will be uncooperative and will not look for ways to help you. But if you influence them in a positive way, they will truly enjoy being around you, working toward a common goal and helping you in many different ways.
Imagine how much control you would feel in your life if there were dozens of people you could call on for help. If there were people that looked out for your best interests even when you aren't around. If every suggestion was met with open ears and an open mind. Think how much more you could accomplish.
All that and more is possible if you understand that your influence over others is always happening. Invest the effort to make every contact a positive one and the feedback will be tremendous.
Senior Head Instructor Brad Mears
Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association
at Frontier Elementary in Colorado Springs, CO
www.COSKarate.com
Friday, May 7, 2010
Take Control Lesson 4: How do you handle change?
Lesson 4
There are changes in your life that will occur as the result of age, injury or disease and the effects of these changes can range from trivial to quite pronounced.
But how you respond to these changes will have a far greater impact on the quality of your life than the changes themselves.
It is the rare person that can go through life without injury or disease and we all know how getting older can slow down the body. These things are unavoidable. You can wish that they didn't happen but you'll have better luck standing in the front yard wishing it would rain gumdrops.
When you are faced with a change due to age, disease or injury, you have two choices – you can focus on the things you can't do quite the same any more or you can focus on how to do the things you can. In most cases, there are ways to overcome limitations if you look hard enough.
The most important thing to remember is that "stepping up" beats "giving up" every time. When you live your life the very best that you can – with the body that you have – you will have a far richer life than you would if you sat dreaming about what might have been.
Senior Head Instructor Brad Mears
Universal Kempo Karate Schools Association
at Frontier Elementary in Colorado Springs, CO
www.COSKarate.com
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